Green and Yellow

Today is one of those days where I have internal struggles agian.

It is so strange, having history repeat itself so many times. In every generation, I would have a green and a yellow. Why must there always be both of them coming together? And everytime I will have to choose and I usually choose the wrong one. When this happens, I feel like screaming and feel the world break beneath my feet. The problem comes with I do not know which one to choose. I do not know what will happen if I choose one and the strange thing is when I choose one of them, I always seem to get the other.

Green will always make me feel empowered and hopeful, then crush me like paper. Sometimes, it hurts so bad I will just go to one corner and emo. But for some reason I feel that green is bitter sweet and knocks me off my feet and I always seem to come back.

Yellow is different. Yellow makes me feel cheerful and worry-free, but then always seem to remind me of the bad things that can happen if I choose yellow. I can always relate to yellow but I also get mixed feelings too.

I am not sure of what to do. I originally choose green but then time showed me how elusive green can be with my abilities and how disastrous the consequences can be if I choose yellow. It feels like my heart shearding in too. I think the Westlife song "If I let you go" still best describes my dilemma.

Well, I hope an answer comes soon because I really do not want history to repeat itself for the third time. I got to keep on believing that everything takes time.